Hey You, Take the Leap

Have you ever felt lost, searching for a guidance in life, especially after a significant loss? I know I have. After my mom passed away, I found myself searching, unsure of my direction. It was then that I realized the most profound lessons often come from the most unexpected places. Looking back on my childhood, it was simple conversations with my dad about his New Jersey accent that sparked a journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth. Pretty unexpected, huh?

The Unexpected Benefits of a Jersey Accent

My dad has the thickest New Jersey accent you'll ever hear. Whenever my friends meet him, they're always blown away by it. THEY LOVE IT. Little do they know, growing up with it had its challenges. Even now, if I don't pronounce 'coffee' as 'cawfee,' he'll remind me I'm a Jersey girl and should talk like one. I often point out that he married a Southern girl and should accept that I won't sound like a cast member from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

This little quirk of his used to drive me crazy, so I started imitating him to tease him. Now, every once in a while, I’ll see him and say, “Hey Dad, wanna cuppa cawfee? Maybe we can go walk the dawg?” He absolutely loves it. It cracks him up. Sometimes he will even ask me to imitate him because he thinks it’s funny.

My dad's incessant testing of my accent ended up working out in my favor in college. I used to be terrified of auditions. I remember crying during a worship team audition at college, and one of the judges looked genuinely concerned. It was incredibly embarrassing. I was tomato-red and stuttering. It was a disaster. But a year later when I auditioned for my first college musical, Guys and Dolls, I was asked to do a New Jersey accent for a lead role. I'd never been in a play or musical before.

Turns out, my dad’s constant nagging about my accent actually paid off. I got a callback for the lead role! Unfortunately, I didn’t get it because of my terrible dancing skills, which I inherited from my mom (love you, Mom). But I did land a smaller supporting role, Mimi. It was a huge confidence boost. For the first time, I faced my fear of judgment and failure, learned the dances as best I could, and nailed my New Jersey accent every night of the show.

After my first college show, I started wondering what my skills would be like if I had faced my fear of judgment and failure earlier. Would I have been a better dancer in high school or middle school and gotten the lead role in Guys and Dolls? Would I have been more confident in my singing and performing abilities? If I had listened to that inner voice telling me to go for it, where would it have led me?

Fast forward to now, while I'm not pursuing musical theater professionally, I still hold a deep love for it. The experiences I gained from pursuing it and singing in front of others in college have shaped who I am today. They prepared me for this new leap of faith in building 'Healing Holly' and sharing my tools for handling grief, loss, and heartache through my blog and on camera. I wouldn't have had this same level of confidence if I hadn't faced those fears that once seemed so overwhelming. Can you believe it? Even something as small as my dad always bugging me about my accent helped me step toward what I feel I am called to do today.

Following Jesus' Example of Walking in Obedience

Recently I watched a wonderful YouTuber called Kaci Nicole. She too started by writing a blog and she was also called into creating a ministry on YouTube as an extension of her writing. I was watching her videos for inspiration and to learn how she did it. In her first video, she explained how it was so terrifying for her to start a YouTube channel because it felt so vulnerable, yet she couldn't shake that it was a step in obedience to God's calling that she wanted to take. She explained how in the book of Mark in the New Testament, we see Jesus' character displayed in His obedience. Each gospel shows a different piece of Jesus' character. In Mark, we see His servant-hood. Jesus lived urgently on mission to the glory of God. We see how He was baptized and immediately began his ministry. His baptism was a significant turning point, marking the beginning of his mission to preach, heal, and ultimately sacrifice himself for the salvation of humanity. The word "immediately" appears nine times in the first chapter of Mark, emphasizing Jesus' prompt response to God's call and His expectation of the same from His disciples.

In Mark 1:16-20, we witness the immediate response of Jesus' first disciples to His call. As He walked along the Sea of Galilee, He saw Simon and Andrew casting a net into the sea. Jesus invited them to follow Him, promising to make them 'fishers of men.' Without hesitation, they abandoned their nets and joined Him. Continuing His journey, Jesus encountered James and John, also fishermen, preparing their nets. He immediately called them, and they too left their livelihood to follow Him. This passage powerfully demonstrates the immediate and decisive nature of the disciples' response to Jesus' call. But, let's be honest, this is easier said than done.

To act "immediately" means to do things properly without leaving room for delay or questioning. I can think of so many times in my life where I feel God has put something on my heart and I have questioned if I am worthy enough to pursue it. Can you relate to this feeling? Have you ever felt like you have a calling or vision or dream, but it seems impossible? Maybe you feel incapable. But friend, God doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called.

The Urgency of Now: Embracing Your Divine Assignment

Bronnie Ware was caretaker for people who were dying. Many of her patients had weeks to live. She ended up writing the book, "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying" because she realized that many of these people expressed the same regret: “I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Can you relate to this? I know I can. I have wasted so much time living to please others. We live to please a decaying world rather than the eternal Father who holds our souls in His hands. As mentioned earlier, I often have looked back and wondered where I would be if I went after the things I dreamt of rather than lived in fear of what others would think or expected of me.

On July 19th 2021, around 5 PM, I called my mom. We were discussing how my dad was returning from a two-week business trip the next day. She had been planning a surprise for him: a freshly painted office with new furniture, carefully chosen decor, and a computer system my brother built. She was so excited to show him their hard work and make him feel loved. At 5 PM, she was busy preparing, cleaning, and mowing the lawn to create a peaceful homecoming. Tragically, just three hours later, at 8 PM on July 19th, I received a call that my mom had become unconscious. After nineteen days of waiting for her to wake up, she passed away. In a blink of an eye she slipped away from this earth into eternity and had to give an account to the Lord for her life.

Friends, we do not know the day or hour when we will have to give an account to the Lord for our lives. My mother was 51 when she passed away. So at the age of 25, she did not know that she was middle-aged. She had 25 more years of life left. I am 28, and I feel like my life has already flown by. There will come a time, sooner than I think, when I will give an account for how I used my time, talents, and the gifts God has given me to fulfill the assignment He placed on my life. I will not answer to God about my mom's assignment or your assignment, but my own. Each of us has a unique calling on our life. God has entrusted you and me with every gift, challenge, and hardship to fulfill a purpose that goes beyond our comprehension and plays a part in His story of eternity. It is time to act immediately and stop questioning what it is that God wants us to do.

You are Designed for the Free Fall

Last year, I went to Hawaii. I was given the opportunity to go skydiving there. At first, it was just an idea... and then when it became a reality, I was terrified. I was deciding whether I wanted to possibly plummet to my death or enjoy a breathtaking scenic view like I never had before. On the drive over to the skydiving place, I began to panic a little. "What am I thinking!?" I thought to myself. Then came the time to harness up, and it became really real. I began second-guessing whether I wanted to jump off a plane 12,000 feet above earth or stay safely on the ground. Before I knew it, I was on the plane. I watched as the ocean became wider and wider. One of the photographers slid, what seemed to resemble a garage door, open. I was right on the edge overlooking the beautiful view. As I was admiring the scenery, without realizing that I would be the first to jump out of the plane, my tandem skydiving instructor quickly went over the instructions so I wouldn't pass out in midair. And within 3 seconds, I was free-falling 12,000 feet in the air at 120 MPH. Guess what? As soon as I jumped, I regretted nothing. Could I have backed out at the last second? Yes. But something in me knew that if I didn't jump, I would feel a letdown and disappointment for not taking the leap and doing what I came there to do.

Friend, we are not designed to live in the safety of our comfort zones. We are designed for the thrill of taking the leap of faith, the free fall. Stepping out in faith is uncomfortable. A good question to ask ourselves is this: "Am I living to please man or God?" We are all going to face the inevitable: death. Yet, we live our lives trying to please the people on earth who will not even be here in 100 years. Would you rather please a decaying world and build up material treasure on earth, or please a living God and build up eternal treasures in Heaven? That is my choice and yours to make.

It is so easy to shy away from what scares us. I have done it many times. But when my mom passed away, I realized what a vapor this life is. Though I am here today, I could be gone tomorrow. I have allowed space for hesitation about what God has called me to so many times, taking the time I have been gifted for granted. That is not what God has called you and me to do. With Christ, we can rest assured that we don't have to live in fear. God gives us the spirit of power, and love, and a sound mind. You and I cannot wait until the day we finally get that courage. Sometimes, we just have to jump into our free fall and trust God with the rest. Courage is doing things despite being afraid.

With every step of courage we take, we become closer and closer to the person God is calling us to be. With every leap of faith, God will grant us another opportunity for another new leap. I remember before I jumped off the plane, my heart was racing. I did not want to jump. But the moment I jumped, I realized it was not that bad. It was one of the highlights of my life, and I am so glad I did it. Just as I had a tandem diver to protect me, God protects us when we jump in faith.

Who Are You Living For?

So I ask you... what are you living for? Ultimately, WHO are you living for? Is it for people? People are fleeting and transient. My mom was here, and now she is in Heaven. If I were living for her, my life would be a shell right now. But living for Christ gives abundant life. Taking leaps of faith shows Him I trust Him. Your leap of faith doesn't have to be a huge one... it can be a small leap.

Will you take a small leap today? Will you walk in the innate gift of confidence that God has given you? Will you step out in courage? I pray you live today like you never have before. If you are not sure what your calling is, I pray you seek the Lord today and ask Him for guidance. Chances are, He's been trying to show you all along.

We are on an ever-evolving journey. What God called you to three years ago could be totally different today. One last thought I'll leave you with: What if the circumstances or pain you've been praying away are actually part of the calling on your life that will point others to Jesus? I pray for the eyes of your heart to be opened to see the next leap of faith to take. I pray you experience the thrill of your free fall. Do it afraid. You got this. Love you, friend.

Reflection

Jesus said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.” And immediately they left their nets and followed him. - Mark 1:17-18

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. - Galatians 1:10

Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the unexpected lessons You've taught me through the simple joys and challenges of life. 

I confess my fear of judgment and failure, which sometimes holds me back. Please grant me the courage to step out in faith, even when I'm afraid. Help me to trust in Your plan, knowing that You equip the called, not the equipped.

Guide me towards the calling You've intended for me. Open my eyes to the opportunities and challenges that may be part of Your divine plan. May I have the courage to embrace the unknown and trust in Your loving guidance.

Thank You for the example of Your servant-hearted Son, Jesus Christ. May I follow His lead, living a life of obedience and service to You.

In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.