Healing Through Togetherness

The other day, I visited my family at Disney. It was so fun to be with my family and enjoy the sunshine, rides, and delicious sweet treats. Everything was going great until suddenly it wasn't. My heart and mind became heavy as I looked around and was surrounded by memories. Isn't it interesting how triggers can work like that? It would be so helpful if we could schedule when triggers hit us, so they wouldn't interfere with our happiness. But, that's just not how it works.

My aunt looked over at me and asked, "Are you okay?" I replied, "Just feeling down. I think I want to go home and be alone." She reminded me that isolation wouldn't help and that I should enjoy time with my family. I knew she was right. There is a difference between using alone time to build myself up and allowing alone time to fill my heart and mind with unnecessary dark and doubtful thoughts. So I stayed. I was so thankful that I had chosen to go to Disney to be with my family, as it reminded me that togetherness is so important. Sometimes when my faith is low, I just really need someone I trust's faith to lean on. Can you think of a time when someone's encouragement or presence cheered you up?

Togetherness Reminds Us We are All So Very Human

I have been reflecting on the word "togetherness." When I was in the car with my aunt and my cousins, I said, "I just need to say something out loud because I know this is a lie from the enemy, and I just need to say it and get it out, and I'll feel better." I was right. As soon as I stated the fear I was having about my current situation, it sounded ridiculous. Then something beautiful happened. My cousin said, "If we are laying everything out there, I need to talk about something that has triggered me too." In that moment, I was reminded of the beauty of togetherness. I love how Lysa Terkeurst puts it, "Togetherness reminds us that we are all so very human and united in our laughter, tears, love for Jesus, and tender care for one another." As I was sharing my heart, it opened the door for my cousin to share hers and for us to care and help each other feel less alone in that moment.

I Need Someone to Understand Me

When my mom passed away, I remember feeling deeply isolated even when I was with other people. The reason I bring this up is that during difficult times, the people we choose to surround ourselves with are incredibly important. I remember being in certain rooms that were crowded, yet I felt like the only one there. It felt like I had a mask on my face with a smile, but underneath, there was a woman who wanted to scream. Life can sometimes feel like our world has stopped, yet everyone else's world has continued moving forward as if nothing ever happened. I know this is incredibly lonely.

During those times, I needed people who understood me. I needed to force myself to go to a community group, be with my family, and refuse to isolate myself. Even when I feel alone, I don't have to live alone. Which brings me back to the point that when we share our hearts, it will open doors for others to do the same. Even if someone you love who means well says the wrong thing, the fact that they are there and trying to encourage you means something. I want to encourage you to give them grace. It's okay to tell someone you love that their words won't help, you just need their presence. Sometimes no words are necessary at all. When I found people that had been through similar things and understood me and my pain, it felt like I unlocked a treasure.

Breaking Secrecy with Trusted Friends Nourishes the Deep Places in Our Souls

Maybe you lost a loved one. Maybe you are experiencing a heartbreaking breakup. Maybe you are isolating yourself due to other reasons like shame, guilt, or sin. Do you have a friend who speaks truth to you? I have seen how devastating it can be to keep shame and guilt inside. Have you ever thought that if you could confide in your friend, they might have shame and guilt over the same thing? Or, have you thought that maybe they could point you to someone to talk to who has experienced the same thing, but overcome it? It is so freeing when we can share our struggles with others and release ourselves from the shackles of isolation and loneliness.

If you don't have that kind of friend, please send me a message here. I would be so happy to help you. It's possible we share a similar story. Sharing our struggles is the key to opening the door to walking in freedom. I love how Lysa Terkeurst puts it, "Breaking secrecy with trusted friends nourishes the deep places in our souls."

I don't know what is keeping you isolated today, friend. Maybe it is guilt about things you wish you said or didn't say. Maybe it is the grief about losing someone you love and you feel like no one can relate to you. Maybe you are holding on to sin that makes you feel so ashamed and you are afraid of being judged. I don't know what it is, but I do know you are not the only one. Please make the choice to be in community and let someone in today.

Gathering Mobilizes Movement

Maybe you are struggling because you don't know where to look for friendship. Maybe a recent breakup is making you feel like you don't know who you can confide in. Maybe you feel like you are seeing people's true colors due to a loss and them not showing up the way you hoped they would. I get it. Those circumstances are hard.

When you don't know where to turn, turn to God. The one who knows you. He knows the words you are about to speak before you speak them. He knows the longings of your heart. He prays for you when you don't even know what to pray for. He is a true friend. His character is not defined by human actions or words. Humans mess up, God doesn't. I pray he brings you the community you need. I know that is hard when life circumstances change and we face loneliness. But, I encourage you to put yourself out there. Visit your local church and say hi to one person who gives you a smile. 

My pastor recently said, "The church matters and the gathering of the church matters. Saying you are a Christian, but don't go to church is like saying you are married, but don't go home. It doesn't really make sense." - Pastor Steven Gibbs, Stone Creek Church. Gathering mobilizes movement. It is not something that we can replicate through social media. It is not just a place, but an assembly of people to build each other up in faith.

Maybe you go to church and you don't even remember last week's message. You may not remember every person you saw that day. But, much like a mother cooking a meal each night for her family, her children may not remember every meal, but they will know that the nourishment they were given got them to where they are today.

Someone Could be Praying to Meet YOU

I have a friend who sent me a message on Instagram the other day. She sent a reel that said, "Your friendship was something I prayed for," and the amazing thing was, her friendship was something I prayed for too. I pray you find that someone who needs your friendship.

Even Jesus needed people. He had his 12 close friendships and constantly surrounded himself with community. Let yourself need people. Let these people pour Jesus' values into you and remind you who you are in Christ. You are loved, seen, created with purpose.

"Every action you take is a vote for the kind of person you want to become." - James Clear. Today, friend, let's cast a vote for togetherness. Don't let isolation steal your joy or make you believe the lie that you must live alone. You don't. There's someone out there longing to connect with YOU.

Reflections:

"In Him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit." Ephesians 2:21-22

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

"Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching" Hebrews 10:24-25

"Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his heartfelt advice." Proverbs 27:9

Prayer:

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your unwavering love and care. Thank You for the gift of community and the strength that comes from being united in Christ.

Lord, I pray help me in times when I feel isolated and alone. May I find comfort and companionship in Your presence and in the love of others. Please guide me to friends and family who can offer support and understanding.

Help me to break down barriers and embrace togetherness. I pray to be a source of light and hope for others, sharing our burdens and celebrating our joys. Give me the courage to open my heart and mind to others, and to create a safe space for healing and growth.

In Your name, I pray. Amen.